As a parent, we all want our kids to be in the best environment to help them succeed, especially when it comes to sports. But the word "success", can mean very different things to different people, especially when you throw a little pride and ego in the mix.

So what do you really want for your child when it comes to play soccer? 

I've asked this question to 100's of parents over the years and I almost never hear them say, "I want them to play pro at all cost". 

It's usually...

• "I want them to enjoy themselves."
• "I want them to develop and reach their potential."
• "It would be great if they could develop to play at the HS level or maybe even college."
• "I want them to experience and overcome adversity and learn life lessons by playing sports."

So why do parents desire to place their kids on the highest-ranked teams and leagues? 

The reason is that parents associate success with the level of competition and believe the higher competition and pressure, the greater the development and chances of success. Not only could this be further from the truth, but in many cases, parents don't realize that this will stunt their kid's potential as a player. Please don't take my word for it. Christin Pulisic, the most talented American player in the history of US Soccer, opted to play for a less competitive team within his area. Here's the excerpt from the article:

Christian spurned the academy team of the Philadelphia Union, a unit consistently more talent-laden and successful than the PA Classics.

"When you are the best player on your team but your team is not as good, it means you handle the ball more, you have to do more to carry your team and in the process, you are developing your game," says Richie Williams, an assistant coach with the U.S. men's national team who coached Christian, then 15, at the U17 residency program in Bradenton and in the 2015 U17 World Cup. "If it is a loaded team, that same player might be identified as a role player and never develop those skills."

~ https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2713937-the-christian-pulisic-blueprint

Often, parents want the prestige of playing in "the elite" league or team so they can feel special. The players usually don't care. 

Growing up in Holland, I started playing soccer when I was 10 years old, which is really late so I was behind from the get-go. On top of this, I was significantly smaller than my peers. (Still am today but that's a different story.) Because I was behind, I played for the Developmental Team within my club for many years but because I got on my bike and took myself to practices, my parents were never around and I really didn't care for which team I played as long as I played and had the chance to compete and develop. 

The key word above is compete. 

So let's break this down. 

What does competition mean? 

When you play on a team that loses 10-0 every game, you're not competing. Likewise, when you're on a team that wins 10-0 and you're scoring 7 out of the 10 goals, you're not competing. On the losing team, it's too competitive, and on the winning team, there's not enough competition. The goal is to find a balance between being challenged (so you develop) but not over-challenged, where there is not success because that takes the fun out of it. This is what competing means. Ideally, you're playing on a team with players who challenge you but you get lots of opportunities to play and the team is competing in a league where you win at least half your games. Even when you lose a game 2-1, you can still be competing. 

So when we have multiple teams within an age group, for which team should your child play? 

The framework we use to determine where a player fits best is based on 3 categories to evaluate a player's level of competitiveness. 

Are they a:

1. Impact Player
2. Role Player
3. Developmental Player

IMPACT PLAYER

An Impact Player is a player who changes the game. They're preventing goals, maintaining possession 60%-70%+ of the time, creating chances, scoring goals, preventing goals, winning 50/50 challenges, and beating opponents to the ball. These players usually play 75%-100% of the game.

ROLE PLAYER

A Role Player is a player who can enter the game and support the team. They usually maintaining possession 50% of the time, completing passes and won't impact the result of the game positively or negatively but will do a decent job of playing for the team. Usually, these players play 50% of the game. These players aim to improve and enter the impact player zone. 

DEVELOPMENTAL PLAYER

Developmental Players are players who are behind or have fallen behind in their skill level and speed of play. They get most of their playing time in friendly scrimmages, tournament games, or league games that are not competitive. In close games, they might not play as much because they are not ready and it's unfair to punish the team if a player has yet to reach the role player status. However, they deserve opportunities to prove themselves, but patience and hard work are required. 

As the image below displays, a Developmental Player on the Advanced Team, might be better off playing as a Role Player on the Developmental Team. Or an Impact Player on the Developmental Team might be better off staying on the team vs being moved up to the more competitive team where they might only be a Role Player.